You think you have it all together. You’ve got this. You’re keeping the calendar, writing out the lunch menu week after week on the chalkboard, packing the school bags, getting everyone to school on time—or out for the bus, bundled in their coats and hats. You’re chasing a toddler and a three-year-old around every day, working, planning birthday parties for your kids, and somehow still keeping it all together.
But deep down, you can feel it. The quiet pressure building, the rising anxiety that your body is shouting at you, but you keep pushing it down. You keep saying, “It’ll get easier. Just keep going.”
You forget things—small things. “Why did I come upstairs?” You feel like you’re losing your mind, and suddenly you’re wondering if you might have ADHD, OCD, anxiety—or all three? You can’t sleep, even though you’re exhausted. You fall into bed, only to be woken up multiple times by your sick child, and before you know it, you’re juggling one illness after another. The endless cycle of sick kids, sleepless nights, and somehow, you’re still the one taking care of everything.
The birthday parties come and go. You muddle through them because you want your kids to have the best time, but inside, you feel like you’re breaking. You can’t even focus on ordering a cake or making cupcakes. But your best friends are there to help, thank God. Still, deep down, you feel guilty. You used to do it all on your own. What’s changed? Is it because you’re older? More kids?
You keep pushing through. Then it happens: the job offer. The one you’ve been waiting for, the perfect schedule, the perfect fit—but suddenly, you feel like you can’t handle one more thing. It might break you. You want to turn it down, but you also know that this is the moment you’ve been waiting for, the opportunity you’ve been hoping for, and yet… you’re terrified.
What is happening to me? Why am I so scared? You’ve been running on empty for so long that the idea of one more responsibility feels like a weight you can’t lift. But you keep going. You shadow for the new job, juggle family life, keep up with the housework, and barely manage to connect with your husband because you’re either too tired or too overstimulated. You feel all the feels: excited, scared, overwhelmed, and even guilty. Guilty that you’re not fully grateful for the life you’ve created, guilty that you crave alone time, and yet your chest feels like it’s tightening with every passing second.
You keep going. Every day. Inhale, exhale, “Oh my…” you sigh. Your son has caught you swearing a few too many times. But still, you keep going.
You’ve got appointments to schedule, lunch boxes to pack, laundry piles to tackle, and an important phone call to make about your new job. All while trying to remember the ever-growing list of things that must get done.
And then, just when you think you might finally crack under the pressure, it happens. You wake up one morning, and something feels off. Your side feels tingly, your shoulder is sore, and then you notice it—the itchy feeling.
“Oh no…” you think. “I’ve got shingles.”
You know it’s your body finally screaming “ENOUGH!” You didn’t even realize just how stressed you were. Stress has a funny way of creeping up on you until your body finally decides it can’t take it anymore.
The Truth About Stress and Cortisol
Here’s the thing about stress: your body can’t tell the difference between good stress and bad stress. Whether it’s excitement about a new job or the frustration of a sick child, your body reacts the same way—by releasing cortisol. This hormone is your body’s natural response to stress, signaling a fight-or-flight mode, revving up your energy levels to tackle whatever is coming your way.
But when cortisol levels stay elevated for too long, your body can’t recover, and eventually, the physical toll catches up with you. Chronic stress leads to physical symptoms like fatigue, poor sleep, digestive issues, muscle tension, and even conditions like shingles. You don’t realize how stressed you are until your body stops functioning the way it should.
In your mind, you think: I’ve always handled this. I’ve done this before. I can push through. But sometimes, it’s just too much. The mental load of motherhood on top of managing the household, juggling work, tending to sick kids, and keeping up with the never-ending to-do list… it becomes a pressure cooker that you can’t control.
It’s Okay to Feel Overwhelmed
And you know what? It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to not have it all together. The truth is, stress is personal. You might look around and see others handling bigger challenges, facing real sickness, tragedy, or hardship, and feel guilty for complaining about your own stress. But don’t compare your experiences. Stress is not a competition.
If you’re struggling, if your chest is tight, if you can’t breathe deeply, if you’re crying in the shower, or tossing and turning in bed at night—it’s stress, and it’s valid. You are allowed to feel it. And you’re allowed to admit that it’s too much.
A Call for Rest
The only way out of this overwhelming cycle is to give yourself permission to rest. To stop. To let your body know that it is safe and that it can breathe again. You wouldn’t let a child continue to push through exhaustion or stress without comfort, so why should you?
Take a deep breath. Inhale, exhale. It’s time to listen to your body. Tell yourself: It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to ask for help.
If you have a partner, include them in this process. You’re not alone in carrying the weight of the world. Often, our partners are feeling the same pressures and stress, but they may not know how to help unless we admit that we need support.
What You Can Do Right Now
- Acknowledge it: Admit to yourself that you’re feeling stressed. Say it out loud. I am overwhelmed. I am stressed. This is too much right now.
- Let go of guilt: Stop comparing your stress to others. You are allowed to feel this way.
- Ask for help: Whether it’s your partner, a friend, a family member, or even a therapist, reach out. You don’t have to carry the weight of everything alone.
- Take breaks: Small moments of peace can make a big difference. Sit down, close your eyes, and breathe deeply for five minutes. Allow your body to relax. Your to-do list will still be there, but you’ll be able to approach it from a place of calm.
- Take care of your body: Make sure you’re eating well, staying hydrated, and getting as much rest as possible. This may mean letting some things slide temporarily, but your health should come first.
- Speak your truth: Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. Share your needs, whether it’s more time for yourself or help with the kids.
The Bottom Line
You don’t need to have it all together. You don’t need to do it all. You are doing your best, and sometimes that’s enough. Don’t let stress control your life. Listen to your body, acknowledge your feelings, and take steps to care for yourself. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say enough is enough.
And remember: you are doing the hardest job in the world. It’s okay to take a break, reset, and ask for help. You deserve it.
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