Let’s be real—every time I read the typical “How to care for yourself” lists, my initial reactions go something like this:
- Meditation: Yeah right, my mind is never quiet.
- Journaling: I already have enough to do.
- Exercise more: Okay, but when?
- Eat right: Seriously??
- Sleep more: Did I not mention I have four young children?
- Drink more water: Ugh, just bite me.
Sound familiar? If it does, then I know you’re with me. You’re living in the trenches of parenthood, and self-care sounds like an impossible luxury—a far-off dream rather than a daily practice.
After having kids, the whole idea of self-care seemed so unachievable that I gave up. It wasn’t just neglected; it felt like a cruel joke, something designed for someone else, not a mom with four little ones. And when I wasn’t tending to my kids, I was too overwhelmed and exhausted to care for myself in any meaningful way.
Here’s what my self-care actually looked like:
- Wake up: “I opened my eyes—isn’t that enough?” Cue immediate demands of “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” as one or more kids are already awake and raring to go.
- Coffee: Coffee, more coffee, maybe some water if I remember, and then… more coffee.
- Eat something: If I’m lucky, and if I have time, it’s usually whatever the kids didn’t finish. Yes, I’ve eaten puffs for breakfast—no judgment, please.
- Attempt to walk the dog: Imagine me, wearing a baby, pushing a stroller, juggling a leash, while trying to prevent utter chaos. Most days, I just give up and stay inside because getting everyone out of the house seems unachievable too.
- Try to connect with my husband: We make an effort to have a nice conversation after work, but it’s inevitably interrupted by the kids, and by evening, I’m so mentally and emotionally drained that I can barely stay awake.
- Wrap up the night: Wine or tea in hand, I scroll aimlessly through my phone, searching for something—anything—that will make me feel good or accomplished in that fleeting moment. Most nights end with me falling asleep on the couch.
That used to be my everyday routine—no joke. And, if you’re anything like me, maybe you’ve been there too. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. Over time, I realized that this cycle was only leading me further down the road of burnout and frustration. It wasn’t sustainable, and it wasn’t serving me, my kids, or my family.
But here’s the thing: self-care doesn’t have to be a grand, time-consuming process. In fact, when you’re a parent, it often comes in small, manageable moments that can help you regain a sense of control over your life.
It took time—hard work—but I slowly began to build better habits that allowed me to actually take care of myself. And no, it’s not perfect. There are still days when I crash on the couch and skip dinner in favor of the leftover mac and cheese. But now, I’ve learned that small changes can make a huge difference.
What I’ve discovered is that self-care isn’t about checking off a list of idealized tasks. It’s about creating space, however small, to breathe, reflect, and recharge. It’s not about doing everything—it’s about doing something, and that “something” is different for every mom.
So, if you’re feeling like self-care is just one more item on an impossible to-do list, take a step back. Give yourself some grace. Start small. Whether it’s a few extra sips of water (hey, we’ll get there), a 10-minute walk, or a few minutes of peace while the kids nap—it counts.
Achievable Self-Care Techniques for Moms:
Motherhood can often feel like you’re giving away every part of yourself—your time, energy, patience—until there’s nothing left. It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the demands of daily life and bad habits, leaving you feeling like an empty shell by the end of the day. I know I’ve been there. But self-care doesn’t have to be unachievable, especially for busy moms. It’s about finding small, manageable ways to reclaim moments for yourself—no pressure, just pure you-time.
Here are some simple, achievable self-care techniques to help you feel more in control, enjoy life’s little moments, and find time for yourself in a realistic way!
1. Get Off Social Media
Social media can be a sneaky stressor, often pulling us into toxic cycles of comparison. Studies show that excessive scrolling can lead to feelings of inadequacy and even depression. When you’re bombarded with “perfect” snapshots of other people’s lives, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough. The truth? You are doing enough. So, try logging off for a while. Instead, pick up a book, read an inspiring article, or listen to something that genuinely brings you joy.
2. Read or Listen to Podcasts
Find something that sparks your curiosity! Whether it’s a podcast, audiobook, or physical book, learning something new is a great way to stimulate your mind and break out of the daily grind. Choose something inspiring, educational, or simply entertaining. When we’re learning, we’re growing, and that growth can feel incredibly empowering.
3. Take a Quick Bath
This doesn’t have to be an hour-long spa retreat (though that would be nice). Just 15 minutes in a warm bath can be deeply relaxing. Use that time to deep-breathe, clear your mind, and unwind from the stress of the day. It’s a simple but powerful reset.
4. Take a Walk—Alone
The key here is taking the walk alone. Even if it’s just for 10 or 15 minutes, step outside, leave the kids at home, and enjoy some peace. Pop in your headphones and listen to a podcast, music, or try a walking meditation. Or, skip the audio and just breathe in the fresh air. This small act can do wonders for your mental clarity and mood.
5. Breathe
It sounds too simple, but don’t underestimate the power of deep breathing. Taking 5-6 deep, slow breaths can instantly calm you when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. The best part? You can practice this anywhere—while cooking, folding laundry, or in the middle of a chaotic moment with the kids.
6. Listen to Uplifting Music
Music has an amazing ability to shift your mood. Instead of flipping on the TV or getting caught up in the news, try playing some happy, upbeat tunes. Find something that makes you want to dance or sing along. You might be surprised how much better you feel after just a few songs.
7. Sit Outside and Enjoy Nature
Nature has a unique way of calming the mind. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, sit outside and listen to the world around you—birds chirping, wind blowing, or leaves rustling. It’s amazing how grounding it can be to simply sit in silence and tune in to the natural world.
8. Yes—Watch Random TV
Don’t feel guilty about indulging in a little mindless TV. Sometimes, zoning out for a bit is exactly what you need. Whether it’s a cheesy reality show or your favorite comedy, give yourself permission to relax and enjoy it without any shame.
9. Have a Stimulating Conversation
Engage your mind by discussing something interesting or exciting. Whether it’s a debate with friends, a podcast discussion, or a lively book club meeting, a good conversation can invigorate your spirit. It’s an excellent way to break out of the routine and feel connected.
10. Have Sex
Okay, I know this can feel like just one more thing on the never-ending to-do list, but hear me out. Finding time to connect with your partner intimately can be a wonderful way to relax and reset. It’s about prioritizing connection and enjoyment rather than viewing it as another task.
Remember: Self-Care Is for You
Here’s the most important thing about self-care: it doesn’t need to be productive. This time is for you—to relax, recharge, and be yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself to make it another “chore.” Whether it’s taking a bath, breathing deeply, or watching TV, the goal is to find small moments where you can let go of stress and enjoy a little peace.
So, take advantage of those small moments and give yourself permission to care for you. Because, mom, you deserve it.