The 7 Secrets to Reduce Burnout and Reduce Stress!
REALISTIC goals for the everyday, busy Momma!
YES, it is possible!
“Almost Anything Will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, Including you”
Ann Lamont
Who Am I?
Hi, I’m Brenna! I consider myself a busy, burned-out momma, navigating the beautiful chaos of life with four kiddos all under the age of 10. My career has been rooted in medicine; I’m a Family Nurse Practitioner and Nursing Instructor. While I’m passionate about holistic health, mental health, and Integrative Women’s Medicine, there’s so much more to me. At my core, I’m a creative spirit who loves to write, dance, spend time outdoors, and relish the simple pleasures of life. Sounds perfect, right? Well, almost! Keep reading; it’s a long story.
How I Got Here
The struggle was real. In 2017, I welcomed my second child into the world while my older son was just two years old. Balancing a full-time job in family medicine, daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, managing a household, and being a supportive wife felt like an uphill battle. My husband, a teacher, was facing similar challenges, and neither of us expected parenthood to hit us so hard after our second child was born.
Our older son rebelled and regressed; he barely slept, and we were also trying to care for a newborn while functioning in our day-to-day lives. You might think, “Come on, that isn’t so hard. So many people manage it!” But we didn’t have a solid support system. Family lived far away, many friends were childless, and we hadn’t yet found a church or community. Plus, we were too proud to ask for help. We were figuring this all out on our own, just like many of you are.
As I tried to keep it all together, I started experiencing alarming new symptoms: stomach viruses, mono-like fatigue, anxiety, depression, fluctuating weight, bloating, and debilitating migraines that left me in a fog. I felt miserable, perpetually on edge, and found myself yelling at my kids and breaking down in tears. I felt like a monster.
With my medical background, I thought there had to be a logical explanation for my symptoms. My mind raced with fears of serious illnesses—brain tumors, adrenal tumors, cancer. I panicked and spent money on tests and specialists, only to find out everything was normal. But it sure didn’t feel that way!
Frustrated and feeling a bit crazy, I turned to my OBGYN and medical provider for advice. Their solution? Lexapro, a medication for anxiety and depression. I went home in tears, feeling defeated, until my husband stepped in with his wisdom. He said, “Think about how much you’ve accomplished in the past two years. No wonder you’re stressed. How can I help?” His words shifted my perspective.
After our talk, I sat down and made a list of all I had achieved and the stressors I had endured. I was shocked at what I found! Balancing two kids on little sleep, managing a demanding career, and maintaining a home was just too much. I realized I had been experiencing undiagnosed postpartum anxiety and was constantly visualizing traumatic events in my mind.
At the time, I thought, “This is just life with kids. This is parenthood. I shouldn’t complain.”
But then, in 2019, everything changed. I suffered a miscarriage while my boys were two and four, and my workplace was bought out by a corporation, which meant my workload was about to increase tenfold. This hit me hard, both emotionally and physically. I knew I needed to make a change.
Why I’m Here
I don’t want you to have to wait until it’s too late or until you’ve suffered through hard times. If you have, I want to help you heal and recover in a healthy way.
Now, I’m a mom of four beautiful children—two boys and two girls. When my girls were born, I made some important changes in my life, one of the biggest being building a community around us. The difference it has made in how I enjoy my day-to-day life is incredible, and I want to share these tips with you!
Thank you for joining me on this journey. Together, we can navigate the ups and downs of motherhood, prioritize our health, and celebrate the beautiful messiness of life. Let’s create a supportive community where you never have to feel alone!
I know these tips will help you too! Keep reading below.
My Best 7 Tips
“Okay, now with that all out of the way, I’m super excited to share the top 7 secrets I discovered on my OWN path to reducing burnout and controlling my stress. Let’s start with #1!
Secret #1: Meet Yourself Where You Are
Accept yourself where you are in this present moment. If it is not the right time in your life to make big changes, wait until a better time when you are emotionally and physically ready.
Don’t push yourself through the stress. This will worsen your anxiety, fatigue, or even cause illness. You will accomplish much more when you are in a calm and prepared headspace.
Give yourself some love, acceptance, and compassion. Acknowledge all of your accomplishments, even if they seem small to you. Be “ok” with where you are and who you are right now, in this very moment.
Tip: Practice gratitude. Start your morning writing down three things you are grateful for that day. Something that has already happened or a situation you are hoping to happen. End your day writing down three things you were grateful for that day. Gratitude creates miracles.
Secret #2: Breathe
Controlled breathing as a practice is one of the fastest and most powerful ways to calm your nervous system.
The results are almost instantaneous and you can breathe anywhere. For example, you can apply the 4-6 breathing technique at work, at home, in the car at a stop light, when your toddler is screaming in your face, really anywhere. See an example below.
Studies have shown that those who use controlled breath work as a practice have scientifically shown lower levels of anxiety, depression, lower stress hormones, and a decrease in ADHD and PTSD.
Try the 4-6 breathing technique: 1. Sit in a comfortable position 2. Breathe in deeply, slowly through your nose for four seconds allowing your chest and stomach to expand. 3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for six seconds. 4. Repeat 4-6 times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg0RPMEe2xk
Secret #3: Boundaries
Setting boundaries means taking control of your life. You call the shots. You determine who is allowed in your life, how you will be treated, and allow yourself to say “no” when you need a break.
Setting boundaries is establishing healthy relationships. Surrounding yourself with positive people who inspire, encourage and enhance your life. Letting go of others who continuously let you down or are not supportive.
Finally, setting boundaries is about self respect. It comes back to self-love, encouraging yourself and demanding respect.
TIP: YOU ARE ENOUGH AND YOU ARE WORTHY!
Secret #4: Be Playful
The definition of playfulness is to be, ” happy and full of energy.” Isn’t this what we are all striving for?
What does playfulness look like to you? Do you enjoy getting down on the floor with your kids and being silly, playing dress-up or games? Is your idea more creative and you would rather paint, draw with chalk or make crafts? Maybe you like to dance and feel more free to let loose with friends.
Whatever your idea of playfulness is, try to engage in it more. Let it naturally happen and don’t talk yourself out of having fun! Be in that moment. You wont regret it.
Examples: Dancing, Hide and Seek, Painting/Art, Play tag, Draw with Chalk, Jump in a bounce house or trampoline, board games, blow bubbles, etc.
Here is a great article in the NY TImes about Play https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/14/smarter-living/adults-play-work-life-balance.html
Secret #5: Daily Movement
There are obviously many health benefits of exercise on your physical health and physique. The trouble is most exercise is regimented, timely and hard to maintain long term.
Adding 30 minutes of movement into your daily routine has shown to have a huge impact on your physical and mental well-being. Movement also increases metabolism, sharpens your focus, and energizes you for the day. Find a type of movement that is FUN for you, this will help you establish a routine and you may even look forward to the daily movement.
Aerobic exercises, including jogging, swimming, cycling, walking, gardening, and dancing, have been proved to reduce anxiety and depression.3 These improvements in mood are proposed to be caused by an increase in blood circulation to the brain and by an influence on the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and, thus, on the physiologic reactivity to stress.
Guszkowska M.. Effects of exercise on anxiety, depression and mood [in Polish] Psychiatr Pol. 2004;38:611–620. [PubMed] [Google Scholar] [Ref list]
Secret #6: Change Up Your Diet
Nobody wants to hear the word “Diet”! As soon as we hear that word, we shut down picturing strict eating plans, restricted calories and lack of enjoyment. I am not talking about a diet. I am talking about the importance of getting enough healthy calories into your daily diet to establish adequate metabolism and balance hormone levels.
Sometimes all we need is to increase some good, healthy foods into our meals and eliminate some harmful foods that could be causing more inflammation or sensitivities.
You should also allow yourself to indulge in your favorite foods and DO NOT ignore all of your cravings. This typically results in overeating anyway. We have to enjoy life!!
KEY: To establish adequate metabolism and burn fat, you must ensure you are eating ENOUGH healthy calories and not over-exercising so you aren’t burning out your adrenal system. Especially for stressed out Moms, we are already burning out our adrenals!!
Secret #7: Rest/Meditation
Rest has many definitions besides the obvious, sleep. There are so many studies and articles on the importance of restful 6-8 hours of REM sleep on our health. For many of us, this amount of sleep is unrealistic. We may have a new baby, young children, a demanding job, or anxiety that keeps our minds racing at night. Of course having a great nights of sleep is optimal, but again, we must meet ourselves where we are.
You can still calm your nervous system by allowing yourself to rest when possible. There are other ways to reach this level of calm, such as, meditation, even if only 5 minutes. Walking meditations, taking naps when possible (under 20 minutes), read a fun book, just sit and relax and prioritize tasks that can wait.
Tip: Establish a bedtime routine to trigger the brain to release melatonin and be ready for sleep. Dim the lights, NO electronics, darkening curtains, read a calm book, take a bath, limit food and drink, especially caffeinated beverages in the evenings.
You Can Do This
I know you can do this because you are strong and worthy of being your best self!
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